This can be thought of in a couple of ways. The first is, when someone asks you what do you do, how do you answer. The second is, when you’re asked to list your accomplishments, from what aspect of your life do those accomplishments come?

Stereotypically, when you ask a man, he’ll answer based on his profession. These men define themselves by their work. The accomplishments they list are related to their job.

Stereotypically, women with children will list their children’s accomplishments. Those women define themselves through their roles as mothers.

This is why, again, in the stereotype, many men are lost when they retire and many women are lost when their children leave home. In both cases, their identities are gone and they need to ‘find’ new ones.

I wonder, though, what the stereotype is for women of my generation, those women who, through choice or necessity, had both children and careers.

Now, I guess I can say the same about the men younger than myself. Those in my generation still seem to define themselves by their work. But I’ve noticed that a lot more men in their early 40’s and younger seem to see themselves more as fathers *and* professionals than the older generations did.

I bring this up because I find it funny, not how I define myself. But how others define me.

I’m the gal with THE BOAT. I’m defined by my sailboat. Not that I have any objection to that. But it seems, outside of work, when I’m introduced to anyone, that’s part of the introduction. This has happened in several situations lately. And it has been fun, because it’s a conversation opener.

So, how do you define yourself? And how do others define you? Is it narrow? Is it accurate?